The Wheel.

Well in between guests Neil has undertaken the heroic task of repairing the waterwheel. This has involved removing and replacing all of the spokes and back boards. And repainting it NOT claret and blue.

It's all done now - took about 3 weeks all in all and is amazing. Goes like a bomb, forgot what it's like when it goes properly and bits in the rooms upstairs start moving.

And Mick has plastered the wheelhouse ceiling. Must have been fun.

We wedged the wheel stuck - were tempted with the man on a moving waterwheel comedy routine but thought better of it.

Am being seriously bothered by Blackie the silent killer at the moment. All over the place, purring and salivating away. He manages to kill by the sheer power of being blackie. No signs of injury whatsoever. Whereas Moleskins efforts look like they have trodden on a landmine.

And isn't the most irritating thing when you mistakenly put your rubber glove under the tap and fill it with water when you are washing up. Horrendous - can't wash up with a glove full of water, worse than no glove at all. Then bloody soaks you when you turn it inside out to dry. And talking of annoying, what is it about pease pudding. Do a  nice dinner for the guests, home baked yorkshire ham with egg, chips, parsley sauce and homemade pease pudding. Served in rather a nice cheffy disc sort of shape and noone ever touches it. Time and trime again everything else gone but the pease pudding. Well I'm not going to bother any more. Makes the kitchen look like yellowstone park bubbling away for hours and nobody like it. Except me.

Serious business. Now really good royal blue and red.

The guests continue, really have been much busier than we thought we'd be, tailing of a bit at the minute but the main holiday season ends in November and we're still getting quite a few in - and lots wanting dinner which is good. Always smell of cooked breakfasts these days. Everybody we've had in has been great so far, really nice people, even had a couple back for the second time last week.

Starting to get colder up here to, tho still lovely weather. But it's actually warm in the house. Unlike this time last year when it was usually colder outside than in - really grim. Now its all heated and really nice. We sit down in the big sitting room with the range lit if we have no guests - very nice. And Dennis is no longer the coldest dog in the world. In fact as he doesn't have to spend most of his time keeping warm he has had time to practice a few more impressions. So here are .....

A chicken - needs to work on the colour of the comb a bit but not bad and ...

A giant squid.

Actually think thats his best yet.

*****

Well we had our mystery guest from Enjoy England and amazingly we got 5 stars!! Can't believe it as lets face it haven't got a clue what we're doing. Disgraced myself by welling and brimming when I was told which started Neil of and then the Enjoy England inspector almost welled too. Then lost it by giving out sugar bowls not tea cups but bloody hell. And at the moment very busy. All good.

And so it begins .........

We have had guests!!!!

We offiicially opened on 1st September. We had an "Open Day" for people that had worked here and the village etc. Actually did really well, had about 60 people here (there was free beer) and all the people who had worked here turned up so it was great. Weather stayed good and spent the day doing tours of the house and hiding up in the attic with Dennis. Held a charity collection and got about £70.00 and ?5 euro's. Mick had just got back form France so it was good of him to come.

And then have been pretty much cleaning ever since. And the first guests arrived on 16th September. Two couples (seperately) and both wanted dinner. Which actually went ok. 2 were vegetarians, 2 weren't. Apart from the fritatta being a bit slow (Neil - "you've just got too get it out jane they're waiting, you've just got to get it out" too much bloody masterchef if you ask me) dinner went suprisingly well, all clean plates etc. And breakfast the next day was fine. Slight poached egg disaster "you've just got to be more careful" I've got to be more careful yeah yeah. Made him get the next one out himself. That showed him.

And then the horror of the unexpected guest. About 2 weeks ago Neil got a phonecall from someone who wanted to book a room on the 17th, didn't care which etc just wanted a view. Told her to go on the website and get back to us and let us know which room she wanted. Never heard a thing. Untill 6pm on Saturday when the doorbell rang..... luckily Neil answered I dashed to the kitchen and started working out a menu (hid and let someone else deal with it) but eventually all was well, we had a room, enough eggs etc and all happy.

And the gardens all smart, Neil's built a few new bridges and all gravelled up. Have even managed to grow a few potatoes. Tendency to explode when cooked (not for the guests) but taste ok. Sort of mash without the effort. Mind you thats all thats grown in my comedy vegetable patch maybe thanks to Blackies efforts at fertilising it. Have to wash everything VERY carefully

So have had all the photo's done for the website - lowmillguesthouse.co.uk - and the place looks pretty smart. Have finished writing the website, room leaflets, access statement, terms and conditions, wine list, breakfast menu etc, it's endless. Have been in the local paper. Was wearing a pair of Neil's trousers which were far to short (I only have one other pair) so asked them to photograph my top half only. So there I am sitting in a chair with my ankles far too much in view looking like some Wham tribute act.

And have been in a couple of shops and heard people say  its them from the paper etc, yes her trousers are too short.

So that's in the living room, pretty cool. And Neil has started repairing the wheel so hopefully it'll all revolve again properly soon. And bookings are really pretty steady. Which we're pleased about as thought it would take quite a while to get going, especially opening at the wrong end of the year. Some are comimg just B & B but quite a few will be eating. Fritatta's off the menu.

That's the large room, all got names now. And Dennis thinks its time to put the heating on. Have got a parrot (Peter's) staying with us at the moment which is nice. Find yourself talking to it. Replies about as much as Neil (prob more). Nearly a year since we arrived - we moved in on October 12th so good too have it all completed and to have had guests staying within the year.

So thats what that room looked like last year.

And thats why I don't blog more often.



WE HAVE A BOOKING!!!!!!

Yep thats it. We have a booking. It's begginning ........

So it's goodbye to ...

Well all nearly done, so most of the people who have been working with us have left. Which is really quite sad in a way as they've been with us pretty much since November last year.

So it's a really big thankyou to ...



Mick the Plasterer

Andy the Plumber



And Kit (put in roof windows, built wall's, dug holes etc).

All been marvellous and really good fun (mind you we did pay them) but all missed and hope we stay in touch.

So what are we doing now the building works are nearly done? You may ask. Sadly spending more money and cuddling Dennis seems to be the answer. Well buying things from the internet with the dog beside me on the sofa but you know how things are. Neil is always wheeling a wheel barrow of gravel round the garden come rain or shine, squeaking like a good un, wish he'd oil the sodding thing, keeping the dog awake. And I've been writing stuff for the website (lowmillguesthouse.co.uk) which wouldn't keep anyone awake.

We've had photo's done and are having more done when the curtains are up and seem to spend a lot of time cleaning. But the place looks amazing (we think), so now getting onto advertising and practising being nice to people and not swearing so much. Just have to work out how to get the dog of the sofa before any guests come. Guess we could just light the fire as he's decided he's scared of them but maybe bit extreme.



So that's the residents lounge, (you see, fire but no dog - it works). Not bad. The wooden thing at the back is one of the sets of grindstones.

This is room 1 or "The workshop" - where Dr Cole (prev resident) made his doll's houses, all those coggs and things go round when the wheel's on.

This is the "Kiln Room", the lounge bit beyond the white door (since removed - thanks fire officer) used to be used for drying grain heated by the kiln below. This room used to be our bedroom when we first moved in.

So I've got my alcohol licence now, so Low Mill is a licensed premises and I could have one of those black and white boards above the front door saying that I'm licensed to sell etc except I don't know where to get one. And we've probably spent enough money already.



And this is what happens when a boxer dog gets into a bowl of Eton mess. Have spent the last few weeks experimenting on friends and family alike by cooking meals that will be on the menu for them. Have perfected the art of home made ravioli but my chips are still a bit soggy, double fry, triple fry who knows. All I know is that I frigging stink at the end of it.

You see it does look nice now, bit different from

That's what it looked like when we arrived last year.





And this is what happens when a lurcher decides two laps are better than one.

The end is nigh.

Really are getting close to the end of the building works.

The kitchen is in and very nice except can never find anything as now (mostly) in cupboards and not on the floor, garage, cellar etc as prev.

The "snug" is now really quite pleasant, previously green walls, red panelling and the infamous slidey shutter.

Am once more sanding floors, the dining room and the sitting room. Great money saving venture this time to use a bin liner to replace the bags that collect the sawdust. You have to pay for these (14p each) so everyone always uses them till they are so worn they explode to much hilarity, unless you happen to be the poor sawdust covered fool who has been pushing the bastard machine (me). So Neil reckons a bin liner "would do the trick". Of course the frigging thing puffs up like a hot air balloon leaving me unable to get anywhere near the sander and the monster thing being unable to get within 2 foot of any wall, structure etc. Abandoned as a false economy. Poor Mick has been plastering in the room below looks a bit shell shocked.

Neil has built an amazing new deck to replace the rotten old one on the back of the building.

Nice having a glass of wine sitting there of an evening. Or would be if it wasn't so cold.

So all the furniture is pretty much sorted out so will soon be able to get rooms all "dressed" and get some photo's done for the website and start advertising!

Look at this fantastic chair.

Was very tatty black cat scratched pvc but now recovered (thanks Helen) in 50's retro velvet. We hace 2 of these and getting old sofa recovered in simaler fabric all to go in the sitting room.

Very unfortunated incident with the old dog. Developed a massive infection in has bad leg that formed a large abscess. Which unfortunately burst on the lovely white bedding we'd borrowed from the laundry company we will be using when we are open. Have had to wash it before returning it for them to wash. So he is on antibiotics and has been on steroids which are great for a few days then he turns into a manic steroid fiend, ravenously hungry, thirsty, scary glint in his eye and a general pain in the arse. And he now has a great big hole in his leg so whenever you take him out people look at him then at you then at him again and say ooh poor dog that looks sore etc just that bit too loudly. Am either going to walk him after dark or get a tshirt that says I know and he's seen a vet so piss off and mind your own business. Bastards.

We buy a lot of the furniture etc from the local auction house. And soft toys (Neil). This is Bing Bear who is really rather sweet except feel a bit sorry for him as looks a bit lost and confused. And his expression never changes, even when Dennis tries to eat him. Also bought a big stone bear statue for the garden. Horrors are we going to have a bear themed guest house.

AND we think Moleskin may have caught a Mouse. There was definately a lot of scampering about the other night. And there was a dead one next to her when we got up. Neil reckons she just claimed one of Blackies for her own. She was spotted on the green the other day - getting very brave.

And as ever a picture of Dennis to finish.

Handsome dog.



In which I get the van stuck and a black eye (unrelated).

But first a tragedy.

We have to report the passing of West Ham to the Championship. After being told every match (since January was a MUST WIN match it finally became obvious that things weren't to be. And after one loss too many West Ham were relegated. We were on a weekend away in Northumberland and went back to the hotel to listen to the second half (have a snooze) of the Wigan game. Woke up to find Neil staring out of the window with his head in his hands and correctly worked out that the good old Hammers had let their 2 - 0 half time lead go. Shocking defence all season. But on a lighter note there are plenty of Championship clubs round here for Neil to go to. The horror of the new manager is kicking in, nasty few days when thought it could be Allardyce or Mclaren but seems to have gone a bit quiet now. Lets just hope Alex McLeish doesn't get sacked from Birmingham.......


But back to the Mill. Some rooms are nearly finished so have been online, sourcing (hate that word) furniture.

This is the bedroom in the room that is called the flat at the moment but will either be called the kiln room or the drying room as is above one of the kilns in the house. Clever eh!

This is going to be the sitting room area (was our old bathroom with the disabillity bath - one of Dr Cole - prev owners children came in and apparently that bath cost about £15 00.00. Should have put it on ebay not in a bloody skip). So those are the tiles heated by the kiln below where the grain was dried.

And this is the bathroom.

The other rooms will probably be called the workroom (the big room) and the paint shop (there was a spraypaint booth in it) or fairly sensible names like that. Hate places with rooms with tossy names like Larkin and Wordsworth etc.

The top 2 floors are pretty much done, the kitchen goes in at the end of May and all the studwork is up and plastered on the ground floor.

That's the "snug", much better without the green and red panelling and the famous sliding shutter. And even the downstairs toilet is pretty civillised.

Not plumbed in mind but much nicer. And the cellar has been plasterboarded (by me unfortunately).

That's the room that's going to be the gym.

So I took Dennis out for a walk in the van, parked up at the old lead mines, the carpark was quite full so had to park rather close to the stream (yes stream). Had our walk, all going well till time to drive home. Start to reverse back and realise I'm going to hit the little bridge that crosses the stream. Normally wouldn't bother me too much but the sodding thing was on the end of The Dales tv program last week and is very special. So thought I can't back over a world famous star of television bridge that will have thousands of people coming to see it so did a few nifty little moves (always a challenge reversing the van with the dog as he stands up and wobbles and you can't see a bleeding thing) and end up just about hanging over the edge of the stream Itallian Job style. Which wouldn't have been a problem except the van is rear wheel drive and skidded on the gravel car park. Would help if it had some new rear tyres. Those wouldn't look out of place at silverstone or "certainly wouldn't now after I've worn them away". So am at least a mile from nearest house, don't have a phone with me - no reception anyway, dog's leg isn't great so can't walk that far and too hot to leave him in the van. So swear my head off for a bit which helped then sat down to wait. After about 1/2hr nice old couple (sadly too old to push the van) come up in a 4 x 4 and offer to tow me out, the only rope we have tho is a washing line in the van for emergencies ?hanging out washing on site. This of course snaps by they very kindly offer to drive me back to the house which they do, me in the front with Dennis on my knee trying to stop him attacking their border collie.

So you can imagine the reception I got from Neil and Mick (plasterer). Thank god there were only 2 of them to take the piss out of me. Anyway eventually Mick very kindly towed us out and I've been a figure of fun (prob always was) and making tea eversince.

We are awaiting the arrival of the travellers or other names. They park on the green en route to the Appleby horse fair. Opinion seems to vary between them adding a touch of local colour and being a bunch of thieving scrounging bastards that rob anything thats not nailed down etc. Neil's going to send Moleskin out onto the green with a bit of copper round her neck and see what happens.

And as for the black eye, headbutted by Dennis of course.



Spring.

Well it's all beautiful here in the Dales. It's been fantastic weather and we've been working hard in the garden.

It's pretty overgrown at the moment but really nice. The river is very low at the moment, but very busy.

We have several duckling famillies which are really rather sweet. Just hoping that Blackie (cat) doesn't show too much interest. He has caught a couple of baby rats (or they've died in the house in suspicious circumstances) and there was the mystery smell (obv blamed on Moleskin - that cat shits all over the house etc etc) that turned out to be a very dead mouse under the sofa. And talking of shitting all over the house Blackie spends most of his days outside asleep by the compost bin? Only comes in to use the litter tray. behaviour which Neil says is TOTALLY UNNACEPTABLE. And talking again of awful toileting behaviour Dennis... had a night away in a pub so Neil could go and see Man City beat West Ham. I did my wifely duty by driving him to and from the football ground and backing the car into a bollard, (fairly large dent). But Dennis, oh dear, nice weather, people eating outside, lets just say 7 bags, 2 bottles of water, some moved diners and very thorough hand washing later.

So we have some vegetable patches.

Have planted about half of the second one, nothing yet just flocks of smug looking birds flying off everytime I go and check things out.  But my propogators well that's a different matter.

Have a very efficient plan so I know whats where but think Neil's moved them all around "for a laugh". So maybe this summer we'll get some vegetables else birds dropping out of the sky due to obesity.

And Den is very excited about the new neighbours.

He really doesn't know what to do - just woof's in a stupid fashion. Blackie is quite friendly with them (there's 3) and touches noses etc, but Moleskin, lets face it who knows what goes on in her furry little head anyway.

Now to inside. Oh the horror of the kitchen. We put up the partition so the residents can get to the dining room without seeing us. None of that open kitchen shit here. And I've been plasterboarding, Neil's been dry lining and look at it.

Nice new cooker by the way. But...

Now that does look like a Mr Trebus Life of Grime / serial killer's kitchen, in fact it does, it looks like the pictures of Bin laden's "luxury" hideaway faithfully reproduced with great excitment in the Sun. You can see noone respects my rule about no power tools on the work surfaces, and as for trying to teach Neil to "clean up as he goes" when he's cooking, how?  I mean I do clean it up every night before cooking tea but still.

And power tools, look at that

Now that's a mans screwdriver for you, looks like a cross between Thunderbird 5 and the Liberator, it's magnetic, has a light on it and goes faster than the speed of sound. But curiously only weighs about 100g, unlike the shonky old piece of shite I get.

Weighs about 4kg and has the wrong battery which falls out on your feet all the time - v. painful.